Irregular Days

Mignon and Shere: On the Case! – I Hope You Like Words Edition

Chapter One: Arise, Great Detectives!

Mignon politely awaited her call, like a nervous orphan waiting to meet a prospective family. Her eyes wandered as they tended to do, catching glimpses of unfamiliar faces she would soon have to pretend to care about. A detective stumbled past in a huff, nearly tripping over her own feet. Mignon intently watched the detective make her way to the Chief’s office, narrowly avoiding desks and officers. She lightly slammed into the door before realizing it was meant to be pulled. Mignon’s default smile briefly stretched into a grin before she returned to scanning the room. Few so much as glanced at her, for Mignon had always been able to hide in plain sight. It was a curse she had come to see as a gift. Her small stature and unassuming face caused most to forget her mere moments after an encounter. She had perfected the art of being forgettable.

Quercitrin City was an unnerving place to Mignon. Her home had worn its filthy heart on its sleeve, but Quercitrin hid its behind smiles, chocolate and disco dances. Same book, different cover. Mignon knew quite well that those whom appeared the nicest were often the most corrupt, for she had built a career out of it. She had seen it time and again: Corruption and deceit were more natural to humans than such frivolities as compassion. They merely put on an honest mask arbitrarily to keep up a facade that none really seemed to understand. Mignon knew this because she was no different from all the rest. Nearby was the one person who could perhaps prove this dreary philosophy untrue.

Shere carefully closed the door to the Chief’s office knowing she had done plenty of things to bring his wrath upon her. Shere hadn’t been herself as of late. She was disconcerted, tired and maybe even a little afraid. Crime had been on the rise and she had started to see a darker side in man that she was previously oblivious to. Her once cushy job had become the hardest in town, but it wasn’t the hard work that bothered Shere. She began each day in earnest, hoping to return order to the city that she loved. Though nervous, she managed to squeak out a few words.

“You wanted to see me, Chief?”

The gruff chief who had more mustache than face stared for a moment at his bumbling head detective before replying.

“Close the blinds, Lydia.”

Shere nearly jumped at the sound of his harsh voice, but held onto her composure and started working on the blinds, first rotating the rod the wrong way.

“Clockwise…” she muttered to herself.

As she finished the task she decided to take initiative and bring the conversation to the Chief.

“Is this about the Lane Case? I have reason to believe those horses were armed!”

For Shere’s benefit the Chief sighed a bit louder than your standard sigh.

“No, this isn’t about you thinking an Amish family’s work horses were rising up to take over the city.”

Shere opened her mouth to reply, but the Chief kept talking. Maybe this wasn’t about something she did after all.

“Have you heard of The Kadabra Killer?” The Chief asked. He knew the answer. Not even his ditzy subordinate would have missed all those news reports.

Shere placed her pointer finger to her chin and thought for a moment. Thoughts of the current question were quickly drowned out by random inklings about her cat and the chief’s oddly stylish filing cabinet. Shere shook her head to regain composure and quickly remembered The Kadabra Killer.

“Yeah, that weirdo that killed a bunch of people over in Kuroth City.” She stated while looking quite proud of herself. She wasn’t head detective for no reason, after all. “Gee, I’m glad nothing like that could happen here in Quercitrin City!”

“The grass just stopped being greener on our side.” The Chief grunted out as he handed Shere some photos.

Shere examined the photos and a look of terror soon crept upon her face.

“Oh gods, where is his face!”

“The Kadabra Killer made it disappear!” The chief said as he waved his hands through the air like a magician making his big reveal.

“C-can that be fixed?” Shere asked in panic. “I hope he’s okay!” The chief then bluntly placed his reply on the table.

“He’s dead, Lydia, and before we get another corpse, this time with rainbow cloth and doves coming out of a hole in its forehead, you need to catch this scum!”

Shere quickly stood at attention and saluted her superior.

“You can count on me as head detective!”

“In a related manner,” The chief began. “I’ve assigned you a new partner. The city decided that your cat can not be an officer of the law, even if you gave it a human name.

“Aww…” Shere slouched down in disappointment. Lieutenant Ardeta was going to be very upset. Shere just hoped she wouldn’t fly off the handle again. The good lieutenant had always been a little hot blooded.

The chief pressed the talk button on his intercom and spoke to his secretary.

“Send her in.”

Mignon wearing her normal smile carefully entered the room with a polite nod to her new partner.

Shere began to space off as she examined her new partner. “Is she really short or am I really tall? Or Both? That’s a nice jacket, I wonder if it comes in pink? Who first saw a sea cucumber and thought ‘Yeah, this should go in my mouth?'”

“ANYWAY!” The chief barked out for Shere’s benefit. Shere snapped back to reality and almost lost her footing. “I believe you two will be a good match, and your partnership should be fruitful in bringing peace back to the city.”

Chapter Two: Mignon and Shere: On Lunch Break!

At the behest of Shere, the new-found partners went out for an early lunch. Shere was curious about her new partner, and what better way to judge someone than to witness what and how they eat? The Double S Diner was a a down home type of establishment. Maps of the area and pictures of local events and personalities lined the walls. The idea was to create a personal atmosphere for the locals, but the cynical Mignon couldn’t help but think it was more to make strangers like her feel out of place. The waitresses walked to and fro with bright smiles and pink and white checkered outfits pulled straight from the 50s. All that was missing was the roller-skates. A dainty blonde waitress gave Shere a familiar nod.

“Same as usual, ma’am?” The waitress asked.

“Yes, thank you!” Shere replied with too much exuberance for such a situation.

“Chicken with sweet and sour sauce, and one extra chocolatey malt it is!” The waitress recounted before turning to Mignon. “And what will you have today?”

A slouched Mignon slowly moved the menu down from her face, revealing only her distressed eyes to the waitress. Nothing on the menu seemed to adhere to Mignon’s tastes.

“Cheese sticks. And water.”

“Uh..” The waitress furled her brow. “Is that all?”

Mignon nodded in silence.

“Oh..Okay then! Coming right up!” The waitress snatched up the menus and skipped off to place the order. Mignon felt naked without her menu to hide behind and soon an uncomfortable silence returned to the booth. Shere watched Mignon’s eyes wander the room, never making contact with hers. “She’s just nervous.” Shere thought to herself. “It must be tough to come to a new city all alone.” Shere nodded to herself in resolve. She decided to make the first move.

“So Mignon, how are you liking our dear Quercitrin City?” Shere asked with a smile.

“Honestly…” Mignon began to say before pausing. She looked around the room as if to confirm her surroundings. “Everyone is so happy here. It’s a bit off-putting.”

Shere’s face scrunched up in confusion. How could happiness be taken as a negative, she wondered.

“From the moment I arrived it’s been all sunshine and bubblegum.” Mignon continued as she looked away from Shere. “My doorman compliments me on my smile. Random people on the street give out friendly greetings. The bagger at the grocery store actually asks if I want my eggs in a separate bag instead of just smashing them all under the milk. Kids are nice and polite. Hell, I haven’t been spit on by a homeless person. Not even once! Maybe it’s just because it’s so different from home, but it feels like something is off. Everything can’t be this nice, y’know?” Mignon paused for a second before looking back at Shere. “Sometimes the worst gifts come in the prettiest packaging.”

Shere appeared to be listening, but in reality had been lost for some time. She loved her city. How could Mignon have a problem with it? This time without a twitch, Shere snapped back into reality and fumbled to make an appropriate reply.

“I like pretty packaging. With ribbons!”

Mignon’s smile briefly widened and Shere saw a hint of relief in Mignon’s eyes. Had she realized Shere hadn’t been listening? Was she happy that her words had fallen on deaf ears? Perhaps, Shere thought, she was looking too much into things. Conversations between detectives sure are awkward. Both sides are trained to read expressions and body language. Both sides are always trying to be one step ahead. It’s just not something you can turn off.

“I bet you do, Ms. Shere.” Mignon replied before changing the topic. “Anyway, what is the plan?”

“Well, first I must stop at the candy store. It’s so early in the day and I only have 4 chocolate bars left!”

“Right..”

“Then I figured we would talk to a street magician I know of, his name is Tulock Pry.”

Tulock Pry. Despite being unfamiliar, the name made Mignon uncomfortable. Perhaps it was detective’s intuition. As she wondered what this Tulock guy was like, the waitress arrived and placed their food at the table. Shere’s succulent chicken dinner nearly overflowed over the plate, and her malt filled a glass the size of Mignon’s head. Shere thanked the waitress who curtseyed before hurriedly going back to work.

“Ahaha!” Shere laughed as she hastily opened her little cup of sauce. “Time to dig in!” Mignon looked at her six pathetically small cheese sticks and sighed. She wasn’t going like it here.

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Mignon and Shere by Tawny