Shai-Hsien’s Journal: Entry Fifteen
Entry 15:
So it seems it’s Shai’s time to shine, but should she fade away before she has shone would that be fine? Times are tough, and her mind is rough and it seems this lass must choose fast, for her destiny has docked and opportunity has knocked and she must board this ship before too much time has passed.
Rhyming! Alliteration! Words! I’m excited! Exclamation points! Ms. Oolaora is back from the dead somehow, I’m not going to ask a lot of questions but seeing her again has really raised my spirits. Ms. Sterna also showed up, but she left on her own again. Something tells me I’ll see her soon though. Reunions everywhere! I think I might have totally lost it and might be sitting in a dark room babbling to myself, but you know what? I don’t really care! Despite everything, I think things are looking up. It’s still a long and difficult path, but I think we are doing okay. I think I’m doing okay. I’m molding into a woman mother would be proud of, and that’s about the best way I can judge myself.
Azriel and Tanya are gone and I’ve defaulted into leadership. I tried to protect everyone before, but now their lives are truly in my hands. It’s hard to say where I should go from here. A more realistic goal would have a better chance of success, but a more realistic goal is also a much smaller victory. The old man with the warforged arm made some good points, although he sailed past realism and right into pessimism. Still, I must realize the limits of what I can do, I am but a simple Lamia, not a savior of the race. I must discuss these matters with everyone, and we’ll figure it out. I’m the new leader, but I think I need them more than they need me, but still they need not die for something they don’t believe in 100%. I thank Azriel for what he has led us to accomplish, but I’m not a fan of his methods. Those on the side of good should act like it. I once said I needed to be okay with morally gray, and that’s probably true, but one must draw a line before they cross a line they never even noticed.
Tenser is a pretty cool guy. He’s living the life! I would love nothing more than to explore the edges of existence and obtain the stories found within, but I guess I’ve got other matters to attend to. He says there are other lands beyond the horizon, and maybe us Lamia can start anew at one of them should I fail. Moving us all is unrealistic but with him I should at least be able to save the village. Karraki probably wants to run off with him right now, and I won’t stop him if that is the decision he makes, but I’ll miss that strange little bird if he does. We’re a lot alike. It might not be readily apparent, but I believe we’re cut from the same cloth.
I wonder where Ine’dan is now. None besides mother have ever looked at me with such disapproving eyes. I met him during an impasse in my life when I needed someone most, and despite our relatively brief time together he became very important to me. I crave his approval on a level higher than most others and I hope one day soon we can look each-other in the eyes with mutual respect. I hope he’s not taking too much upon his shoulders, but I know he is. I guess people will do what is in their nature to do, and everyone else is powerless to change that. I will be Shai and Ine’dan will be Ine’dan, and that causes us to walk separate paths for now, but it is my hope that one day those paths converge again.
Pirate Songstress Shai-Hsien’s official list of things to do:
1: Continue to be of the living.
2: Keep Miharu of the living.
3: Become awesome!
4: Grow two more arms.
5: Become immortal or something.
6: Create greatest song the world will ever know.
7: Save entire race. (Almost forgot!)
8: Send mother a message.
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